Suicide outta curiosity

As always, i stand
at my loneliest in a crowd
self-consciousness magnified by choice.
I know that i don't care
and yet i pretend that i don't care
As waves after waves of meaningless noise
rise, fall and crash
onto the cliff of my absolute boredom.

A stranger looks my way
and quickly turns away,I'm glad
no idle time was wasted on pseudo conversations.
I'd go with the flow if I could
I really would.
But I see no river, no movement
no rhythm, no sense.
You're all waiting in a stagnant pond to dry.
As for me, I'm already dread.
Of life, the universe and everything.
The answer's 42, by the way.
Its the question that brought us together.
We met out of nowhere
quite literally you were nowhere
We held hands out of a mutual need
To grow, to learn and understand
Something that seemed beyond us.
We then analyzed and simplified
Our lives beyond all reason
And now we're left with nothing else to do.

We hold on to memories
Like they're more precious than the raindrops
That bring with it nostalgic dreams of life.

After everything is said and done
and heard and felt and seen and fucked,
I'l stand at the edge of thaasophobia;
Smoke the first cigarette of my life and burn it.
Pull out an imaginary gun from my left pocket
And a real one from my right;
Laugh out at a private joke..
And pull one trigger.

And if I'm still bored, I'l pull the next.